I hope you guys are doing well! I feel bad for not updating my site and neglecting ya’ll for so long but God decided to put me in check a couple over the past couple of months. AKA: THE UNIVERSE DRAGGED THE HELL OUT OF ME!! I think almost every planet was in retrograde at one point this summer but Mars (in retrograde) was especially mean to me. *insert side eye here*
But now that I have walked through fire and came out on the other side, one of the lessons I have learned is:
Detachment Sometimes Feels Like Hell.
I have touched the subject of detachment before in an article I previously wrote, in terms of letting go of people; however I don’t think I realized that sometimes its necessary to detach from bad behaviors, bad habits, bad energy, and toxicity. Detaching is a part of healing and it is one of the most difficult parts of the healing process. It can literally feel like hell.
I had two altercations this summer with people I care deeply about. Both situations were aggressive, dramatic, heartbreaking, devastating, and hurtful. But they both NEEDED to happen. They needed to happen because I wasn’t listening. I was doing a lot of praying but not enough listening. I was leaning on my own understanding instead of letting God lead the way. Sometimes when you don’t listen to God, he will get you to listen in the most drastic way so you are forced to make the necessary changes in your life.
“How many situations have you forced yourself into that you had to cry your way out of?” -TD Jakes
This summer God forced me to stop operating under old energy. I was forced to disconnect and detach from not only people, but old mindsets and toxic behaviors. I had to be still until the energy cleared and it was SO HARD! I went through a depression spell because I just wanted to sleep until it was over. Not being able to see the next step is terrifying. Giving up complete control to the Universe and trusting that she will do her thing is frightening!
But that part: Giving up complete CONTROL
Let Go of That Control!
That was the part that God was trying to teach me. I NEEDED to detach from control. The mindset of “if I can control it, I can fix it” had to go. God was showing me that there are just some things that are HIS job! Who am I to fix situations that I did not break in the first place?
I heard spirit say to me clearly: The reason why you are suffering is because you attached yourself to energy that wasn’t yours to carry!
…And then I got my ass out of bed and began to live MY life again. Nothing I was carrying was mine to carry but my need to control and fix everything was bringing me down. I wasn’t listening to God (or my therapist) so I was forced to be still and learn the lesson the hard way. All the sadness and self-pity felt like hell. I spent many days wondering when I was going to feel better. That day eventually came and I woke up with a new mindset, clear energy, and free from toxicity.I may bend but I certainly don't break baby!
The comeback always comes after the lesson. It took me a few months to detach from energy that needed to be cleared and it truly felt like hell, but it was worth it. Making room for new energy can only make my life better. I think a lot of people have issues with taking on other peoples shit but the reality is that some problems can only be fixed with divine intervention. Focus on you and let people focus on them. You can definitely assist in someones happiness but you cant be the basis for it. That is too much pressure on you my love.
Once you know better, you do better. Clear that toxic energy so you can start feeling better and attracting better into your life!