As 2018 comes to an end, I took some time to reflect on what this year meant for me. The word that comes to mind when I think about this past year is: Transformation.
This year was the beginning of me coming into my divine feminine. I fought with it through much of the year and the resistance felt like the equivalent of pulling The Tower card in tarot. It was a destroy to rebuild kind of year but in the end I finally surrendered to the transformation.
This summer was the hardest for me. It was quite depressing and painful actually but transformative nonetheless. People often think that transformations are so beautiful because they often see the beginning and end product. The truth is that the process is rough. It consists of days of uncontrollable crying, breaking down, sleeping your life away, and a lot of isolation.
During this transformation process one of the lessons I learned is that I deserve to give myself credit. I realized that I give praise and credit to others when I see them winning but fail to show myself that same love. I was not celebrating my own victories. I was not telling myself how proud I was about everything I was able to accomplish despite all the disruptions and breakdowns.
However, that changed in October when I took myself on a solo trip to Italy for my birthday. For once I celebrated myself and it felt amazing. I was finally allowing myself to give myself praise and it made me feel powerful and fearless. The clarity that came from my trip was that all the heartaches and breakdowns of this year we preparing me for the greatness to come. My eyes were finally open and I was able to see the greatness in me.
The word transformation was the first thing that came to my mind when thinking about this past year because I realized I had to surrender to my transformation to be able to grow. It feels good to come into my divine feminine and although it was rough, I am thankful for the process.
Each time my heart is broken open by life, I open more and find more love to give myself and others.
Blessed & Prosperous To You All!