Today I sat down to write in my journal about what love meant to me. Then I started to question if I really even knew what love is. As I pondered about this question over the next few days I came to the realization that the reason why it seemed difficult to write about love was because I don’t recall ever seeing good examples of romantic love when I was growing up. I do not recall witnessing what a healthy, loving relationship was supposed to look like.
I Did Learn What It Wasn’t Supposed To Look Like.
Growing up I felt surrounded by bad relationships and I was determined not to get stuck in one. I learned what not to do and who I did not want to fall for. I learned what type of men I wanted to avoid. However, avoiding certain types of men still got me men that were bad for me. I was determined not to be stuck in a bad relationship, but I was still under the impression that anger and pain were a part of relationships because that is what I grow up witnessing. I was so scared to see that anger and pain manifest into my relationships that I barely spoke up when I was in one. I was scared to mess things up or to make the other person angry because I did not want to become a victim of the “love” I witnessed as a child.
Self-love is the highest frequency that attracts to you everything you want. -Idillionaire
It wasn’t until a few years ago when I went on a journey into self love that I realized that way of thinking was very unhealthy. I had to teach myself how to love myself first before I could enter a loving relationship with another. Each day I am learning different ways on how to love myself. Once I got into this habit of practicing self-love, I started to experience what true love felt like. I started to view love in a different way. It was no longer anger and pain. It was no longer settling for anything that doesn’t look like the failed relationships that I grew up witnessing. Now I know what it feels like to love myself and that is the most important relationship of all. Now I can teach others how I want to be treated in relationships and in friendships because I know my worth.
So What Does Love Feel Like To Me Now?
My love feels like coming home to myself after a long day, running a nice warm bath, drinking some hot tea, and curling up in comfortable bed, with a good book or listening to great music without any distractions. My version of love feels just like this. If I ever fall in love this is exactly what it must feel like.