I have not been as consistent with blogging because…life! To be truthful I lost my drive and inspiration for a long time. I stopped writing because inspiration had left me. It had no remorse either. I felt it would never look back to find me. It didn’t care how many people I was helping or how my words inspired others. It just up and left me.
I became consumed with self-doubt, self-pity, and negative self-talk. I made no room for inspiration to ever find me again. It was like someone who closed their heart to love after being heartbroken. Inspiration had left me heartbroken.
It was right to leave me though. What good was going to come out of the bitterness of depression? Grief hit, then depression, then the weight loss, then self-esteem and body dysmorphic issues. All issues I thought I put away in a file cabinet in the back of my head. I decided if I can write again then I would find my joy again. The only way I would be able to find joy again was to get better.
Therefore, I had to seek therapy. I had to get out of bed (which was easier said than done). I had to start reading again. I had to pull myself out of isolation. After months of being dedicated to this routine, the depression lifted, the weight came back, self-esteem turned to self-love again and inspiration started walking back to me.
Healing is a lifelong journey. It never ends. It takes constant work. Do not get discouraged. So what do you do when inspiration leaves you? You never give up. Keep pushing.